Sep 8, 2008


Memories, can be bad, also can be good.

Happy memories remind you of all the happiness that you have gone through with persons you love.
Bad memories remind you of all the sadness and hurt that you have gone through alone.

Personally I think it is good if yo,u can balance up your memories because it spices up your diary of life.
It enables you to learn more, and develop yourself to a better person.
But as the saying goes, do is harder than say.

I really appreciate what have I been through all these whiles. And I would say I like my college life better than school life.

My chapter - - school life - - will remain in my diary of life - - permanently.
If you want to know is it bad or good, I would say 20% good, 50% bad while 30% not good and not bad.

My school life has never ever monotonous than anyone else.

I was a pervert, perhaps, I am still.
I cared of nothing but studies. No other aspects of life did I care much.
Friendship sounded fragile and I failed to find clicks.
I failed to express myself and carry myself well.
It deals with self confidence that I would say I have none.
It was sad. I know.
(Suddenly I felt a surge to cry all out. Just so emotionally carried away, and yes, I always did last time.)

So what can I do??
NOTHING, see??
Because what have I been through is done and unchangeable. SO I want to tell you the message is:
There is no use you mourn over what is past and done. Just look in front and do what you can change. Memories are meant to be mesmerized but not for you to keep yourself stuck in there.

My college life - - Another chapter of life.
The first two years was quite fun because it was still new and it changed. I love changes. More people you will know. More people that you interact with.

I was really grateful that I was being forced to enroll in this college because the purpose here is to EXPOSE you to the outside world, in less complicated way.
Still, now, when I reviewed what I have done, there is not much remarkable experience.
Indeed, I am now more outspoken, more keen to express myself to people.
But the trouble is I do not know what happen sometimes that some group of people dislike me.

Perhaps my personality problem. I try to change.
At times, I do not know am I at the right track, but I feel that I am not good enough.
I accept what people criticize and ponder of what I shall do and I try to change.
However my effort seems not to be appreciated. It is futile. NO changes still.

I am lost. Lost in so many things.
I need guidance, yet I do not know how to tell others what I need sometimes.
Perhaps just need some time to sort it out.


  1. charis4:03 PM

    girl i told u b4 once i beleive tht in this world there i wll be people who hate you and people who likes you.
    You can't please everyone at least tht is what i have learn. i guess i have been trying hard to please people around me and end up i forgone myself.
    i right now feel just do down. its like well i please people but they just dont seems to und and what next? i get the blame huh?
    well another thing is God spoke to me in many areas and ways adn i know i can't do things to please ppl not for people but for God.
    i was wrong once when i think i do things that pleases people they will appreciate it.
    i tried my very hard to tell myself tht well they will und, they will appreciate
    but again, time proof me worng.
    i wonder why always time proof me wrong in this time.
    what is that i shud learn? i wonder...
    i posted a poem bout memories it comes to my mmind tdy tho

  2. hehe..girl!! I scheduled it last two days...
    Somehow it comes at the same timing...FuuYoh!!

    I know I can't be pleasing everyone. And why i try to change from what people discover about me because I hardly find myself what's bad about me. Because I might not know what are there.

    Girl ar...I do not know how to answer you le. What you should learn?? I think you know more than me. But I think if you enjoy what you are doing and at the same time you don't overdo it, you will feel better ba...what do you think?


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