May 31, 2008

Sense of belonging

I really need the sense of belonging.

But I knew I am still fail in finding it.

It has been 20 years that I was proved to fail again and again.

I simply don’t understand why.

It added to the contrast when someone actually shared what he done and felt these days.

In primary school, I was no other than a silent girl whom is lack confidence, and lack socializing skill. It ended up my primary school life was so dull that I don’t even want to recall anyway.

In secondary school, again, I was the same old me, lack confidence. It became worse when I actually started to lose faith in friends. Talking bad about people behind them. Spreading vicious rumors. Things I really hate.

Is this what we called it the adult life?

Now, in college, still I fail.

The sense – why is it so hard to get one?

May it be I am too selfish that I was not deserve to have them.

I am EMO for now. Here. This moment.

Today may the day I cry most.

I need a shoulder. Someone that I really can cry without fear, without the intention to hide myself.

Or a place where I can release myself the whole day.

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